It was a crisp fall morning and the leaves crinkled beneath my feet as I strolled to the bus stop. As I was in no particular hurry, I took the time to admire my surroundings as I walked. The trees were almost bare. Up above, a formation of geese honked as they flew by. A squirrel rode past on his bicycle. I had taken a few more steps before it dawned on me; squirrels don’t ride bikes! I quickly looked back just in time to see him turn onto the next block. I immediately ran after him, curious to see where he was going. After a few minutes, I had gotten close enough to get a better look at him. He looked just like any other Eastern Gray Squirrel except that he had a pack on his back, and, most noticeably, he was riding a little green bike. Now, for the first time the squirrel turned around and noticed me. A look of panic spread across his furry little face. He must have pressed some kind of button, for then a blue flame shot out of the back of his bike, and before I could react, he had disappeared. I was dismayed. I had just lost out on such a fantastic opportunity. I was about to start walking back to the bus stop when I noticed a small, blue, rectangular object on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, I found that the object was actually a little blue book. I figured that it must have fallen out of the squirrel’s pack in his haste to leave. The title of the book was embossed in silver letters on the front: Squirrels Through the Ages. I opened up the book and squinted to try to read it, but the letters were too tiny to make out. With my heart beating wildly from excitement, I ran home to get a magnifying glass. For the next few days, I pored over the little book trying to absorb it all.

 

      As humans, we tend to think that we are the only living creatures with any great amount of knowledge and intellect. However, this is not the case. Squirrels are far smarter.

 

      Humans see squirrels hopping and running about digging holes and getting themselves run over. In reality, the hopping and running about is just a cover up. The squirrels are actually out gathering materials for their latest experiments and inventions. When they get run over, they are usually too deep in thought to see the car coming before it is too late. It is just an unfortunate accident, not in any way an act of stupidity.

 

      Ever since ancient times, squirrels have made their homes away from humans. Humans, they feel, are an annoying race who are always polluting and getting into fights with each other. Instead, squirrels live peaceful lives underground away from all the mess and the noise. The entrances to the squirrels’ abode are located at the base of a few trees on every block. When no one is looking, the squirrel approaches the tree. The squirrel sticks out its paw, which is scanned by a hidden sensor. When the sensor confirms that it is indeed a squirrel, a door slides up allowing the squirrel entrance into a high-speed elevator. The elevator then takes the squirrel 500 feet down into the city.

 

      The city is a brightly lit place due to mirrors that reflect sunlight down from the earth’s surface. There are acorn-shaped houses arranged in neat rows with a patch of artificial grass in front of each one. In one part of the city is a bright blue building made out of hazelium (a strong metal with many amazing properties) that serves as the city’s power plant. A large pipe comes out of the bottom of the building and goes to the earth’s core. The intense heat supplies the energy for the city’s electricity. In the middle of the city is a long track that stretches for many miles leading downtown. High-speed commuter trains run on the track transporting commuters to their offices.

 

      Downtown looks pretty much how you would expect any downtown to look. There are skyscrapers and shopping centers. There are squirrels bustling about. However, there is one major difference. It’s not noisy or smelly. There are no cars, buses, or taxis downtown, or anywhere else for that matter. If necessary, squirrels get around on bicycles. Otherwise they just walk.

 

      In general, squirrels lead a very healthy lifestyle. As mentioned above, squirrels walk or ride bikes instead of driving. Squirrels also don’t waste hours rotting their brains in front of a television. Instead, squirrels spend their free time playing intense games of soccer. Soccer was chosen as the national pastime because it is one of the few sports that does not require opposable thumbs. Another measure that squirrels take to stay healthy is eating nutritious food. Squirrels have no greasy fast food joints. Instead, all restaurants are required to serve only whole grains and absolutely no trans fats. All of these efforts that squirrels make to stay healthy pay off in the end. The average squirrel, contrary to common belief, can live for up to 200 years.

 

      At this point in my reading, a deep sleep overtook me. When I awoke, I was lying in my bed. I rushed to the dining room table, where I had been studying the book. The book and the magnifying glass were nowhere to be seen. It had all seemed so real. Could all of this just have been a dream?

 

      The next day I made my way slowly to the bus stop. The sky was cloudy, and it was cold outside. It looked as if it might snow. When my bus came, I got on and took a window seat at the back of the bus. As the bus was pulling away, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look. It might have been my eyes playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn that I saw a squirrel riding by on a little green bike.