Tova Perlman is in the 7th grade at the Minnesota Jewish Day School. She
likes to play sports like soccer and tennis. She also loves to write and do her business,
TovaWear (TovaWear.com). She likes to go on the computer, too.
Prose, Grades 7 - 9: Third Place
From Slavery to Freedom Speech - Tova Perlman
Hi, my name is Moshe and I’m here to tell you about me.
Let’s start from the beginning. Here I am as a baby. I was born on the 7th of Adar. I was premature 3 months so my mom could keep me for 3 months. After the months were up the Egyptians came looking for me (ooo there’s that word me again) because I was cute not because I was Jewish, the Torah has the facts wrong.
My mom made a yacht to keep me safe; it had a hot tub and an amusement park. The Torah says that it was a tevah but what do they know? Anyway, back to me. So I was going down the river fast as lightning with the wind flying in my hair. Even though I was a baby I was brave and didn’t even wet my diapy. My (unimportant) sister called, but I couldn’t hear her because of the river.
Finally I saw land. There was a beautiful princess there but she was a little out of my league. As you can see my taste for women developed very early in my life. The princess saw me having a great time and came and took me so I couldn’t have more fun than her but I was still happy because she was holding me. My sister, who had been watching over me the whole time, then had to spoil my fun by coming over and saying I know someone who can nurse and take care of that baby and so I got to see my mommy and get fed by her.
One day my mommy didn’t come and bat Pharaoh (my beautiful adopted mommy) said that I’m old enough to not be fed or taken care of anymore. So then I had fun. I was the prince and was always the center of attention and got treated like royalty.
Then the fatal day came. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was out on my seat having people enjoy my beauty while they worked and I saw a dude hitting another dude. Now usually I don’t care for other people but this time I felt really weird and wanted to kill the Egyptian dude that was beating up the Israeli dude. So I got off my seat and ran over and killed the Egyptian, all the time I was worrying that the people were missing my beauty. Only afterward did I realize I had to run away, I can’t have people thinking bad thoughts about mwa. So I did. I didn’t even take anything with me. Okay fine, maybe I took some shoes and a chicken. I walked a long way and I was in the desert. While I was there I worked on my tan.
I finally got to a well where I saw another beautiful woman (jealous huh? I have so many beautiful women in my life). So anyway, I helped her, and her father invited me into her home. Oh yeah, I was so wrapped up in me I forgot to say that her name is Tziporah. I loved her, she loved me (well who can’t); we fell in love and decided to get married. We got married and our wedding was beautiful. After I was married I became a shepherd. I tended to the sheep and they got a few tips from me too. Like how to take a shower and fluff your wool.
One day I was helping a baby sheep and I saw a burning bush. Now I’m no science person but even I know that it’s impossible for there to be a burning bush that is not getting consumed. I tried to blow it out but it wouldn’t get blown out. Then I heard the words of G-d otherwise known as the show stealer. He said, Moshe you must go down to Egypt and tell those people to stop treating my peeps that way. Ok…kk…..kay G-d. So I packed up my family and my stuff and traveled through the desert.
When I got to Egypt I found the king and said, Hey I used to be prince and I command you to let my people go. NO. So I put disgusting blood into the river. It was very hard to do. First you have to take the blood and pour it into the river and then… sorry, I have to go onto the next plague which was frogs. They were jumping everywhere. It was a bit annoying really; and then lice which was sooooooo itchy I had a rash and I had to use skin cream. I looked so ugly. Oh yes, I left out a minor detail, I didn’t perform those plagues. Aaron, my brother, did. So anyway, then I did all the other plagues. I don’t have time to name all of them because then I wouldn’t have enough time to talk about me, but I told you about a few of them. Finally came the last plague, the death of the first-born. I felt so bad for Pharaoh when his son died. That is like you guys losing me. Wouldn’t that be terrible? After that plague Pharaoh said yes, we could go.
We weren’t taking any more chances. We packed quickly and didn’t have time for bread so we had to eat this icky flat stuff that I didn’t like. We came to the sea. That always scares and this time we had to cross it without my yacht, we didn’t even get a boat. We had to walk, isn’t that just awful, my poor legs. I was wondering how we were going to walk when G-d told me to raise my staff so the water would split. Well guess what? It did, and guess who else split?
After my sister and brother dragged me across the sea I had to keep everything in order and it was time for me to start acting like a leader. Then some stuff happened. Then comes the really important part where I go up and get the Torah from G-d. It was fun except for the part where I had to do that boring studying, for nothing, I might add, ‘cause then I just broke the tablets and had to go up again. Those were my shining moments when I was up on the mountain getting the Torah from G-d. It was all about me.
Thank you for watching me. I hope you like me, and that is my life. Excuse me, I have to go count the me’s in my essay.
(Walks off saying) 1, 2, only 10 that can’t be right.